Gift Giving and GirlyCard

Disclaimer: I don't own Hellsing.......darn.....

A/N: Okay! Put away those tissues because here comes another installment of “Hellsing Comes But Once A Year”! I had to go to a mall to round out the ideas behind this story of Young Walter and Girlycard buying a gift for their employer. Warning: Contains sexual humor and a case of demonic speaking dolls.

Enjoy!

1958

Young Walter paid the cabdriver as Girlycard got out and stretched her arms. It was four weeks until Christmas. Although Girlycard kept telling Walter that they would have plenty of time to get a present for Arthur and his wife, Walter insisted saying that he dreaded the late shopping.

They were inside the store now which was getting even more crowded. Girlycard removed her hat and whispered into his ear,”You want I should thin the herd Wally?”

Walter gasped, knowing fully what Girlycard was implying she would do,”No! Just behave yourself and stop getting into trouble, help me find a gift for Lady VanHellsing, since you seem to -ahem- know what women want.”

However, as Young Walter tended to forget, never tease Girlycard because she will tease you just as bad right back.

"No really," she jested brushing up against him and caressing his face with a finger,"WHAT do women want? Hmmmm?"

His eye twitched,"Excuse me...."

In a blink of a eye, Young Walter ran into the bathroom.

Five minutes later he was back out again.

"Lets just get this over with." He seethed at her.

Girlycard giggled and skipped down the aisle into the toy department. She picked up a pull-string doll that would speak when you pulled on the said string. She always got a kick out of these contraptions. Walter found her in the doll aisle of course, what was it about dolls that made a five hundred year old man vampire in the form of a Japanese girl take such interest in them. It must have been a deep deep deep century gap in the generation of toymaking.

"Put that down Girly," Walter sighed,"we are not getting something for you its for Mr. and Mrs. Hellsing."

"Awwww," she pouted,"hey look when you pull it string it talks!"

"Yeah...like I haven't heard those a thousand times before," he muttered,"I am sure you will see more dolls like it in the new future but for now-"

"Oohhh, lets see what this one says!" She pulled the string and intelligible words came out.

"Oh my god!" she cried,"the doll just said that 'Satan is Our Lord and Master!' Wally! I am scared!"

She dropped the doll and clutched onto him nudging the doll away with her foot.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He replied prying her hands from around his waist,"its just a stupid doll! Dolls can't talk! I mean....not...talking like that...you probably misinterpreted it."

He picked up it up and pulled the string,"See it says...."

SATAN IS YOUR LORD AND MASTER......WORSHIP HIM........WORSHIP HIM......

"Girlycard knock it off!"

"Wally, I am not doing it."

The serious look on her face made Walter freaked out, even more scared then anything he had seen in WW2, they looked at the seemingly innocent doll with a blue dress and locks of golden curly-hair with her long eyelashes and bright hazel eyes. Without pulling the string the doll said its dark words once again.

"LETS GET OUT OF HERE!" Screamed Walter, grabbing Girlycard and running out of the toy department both of them screaming in unison.

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After hours of running within the Department store they found themselves in the clothing aisle.

"Hey Walter, you know how Arthur and Lady Hellsing are trying to have a baby?"

"Yeah what about it...you got them a toy for the-GAHHHHHHHHH!"

"What do you think, won't it get them a baby quicker, huh?"

Walter turned around and saw Girlycard holding a lacy black teddy with matching thong up against the front of her body. Every once of hormones in his sixteen year old body started to crash down on him. Down, down, down, way below the belt if you get my drift. His active imagination was not being his friend that day as he started to think dirty dirty thoughts.

"Hey, I know! I will try it on!" Girlycard smirked as if reading his mind,"that way I know if it will fit her or not, we are the same size you know! Tee hee!"

"No Girly don't-!"

The fitting room door shut and a minute later the stunning Girlycard came out in a see through babydoll-teddy that revealed her taunt curvy stomach and round hips. The garter molded her shapely legs so delicately and fine that it was as of God had taken great care in sculpting them right before Walter's boggling eyes. Which were resting on the level of her bosoms and how it fitted each mound like a glove. Accentuating them just right-

"Well?"

"I........I have to go to the bathroom......again!"

"Wally!" she cried,"you just went, what are you doing in there!?!"

"WHAT DO YOU THINK!?" He shouted back at her.

Girlycard just looked confused.

In a puff of smoke he disappears into the bathroom for a even longer period of time. Girlycard went back into the fitting room and changed back into her regular clothes. A store clerk walked up to the door asking if he would like to wrap them up for her. She politely thanked the man and asked him if the store delievered for Christmas.

As Girlycard waited for the man to wrap the gift up for her, she still hadn't seen any sign of Walter coming out of the bathroom,"Hahehehehahahe......" in a serious tone "I don't get it why dosen't he just impale something like I used to do when I would get 'urges' back in the day."

"Here you go miss." The store clerk said.

"Thank you." she smiled and skipped happily away.

Girlycard had issues.

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After a while, Walter found two lamps with stainglass dolphins glued to them and they were a good price on the clearence shelf. With the lampshades made of green vinel with frill edges around the bottom.

"This looks good, I think they will like it, the lamps will look nice in the office."

Girlycard just looked at the tacky lamps and made a disagreeable sound,"So, are you trying to say that....after all those years of putting a roof over your head, giving you the best education and tutors money could by, spending hours and cash to make you those fancy glove weapons and all around being the ONLY parents you will ever have-not to mention they give you a hundred bucks allowance......you get them this cheap piece of crap."

"Hey," he replied offended as they made thier way to the cash register,"I least I got them something, if you don't like it why don YOU get them something instead of mooching your name onto my gifts like you have the past couple of years!"

"Fine," she huffed,"I will! Its free country now! So I will do it!"

"Fine."

"Fine!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

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(A/N: contains off camera sex scenes)

Christmas Eve

Apparently that night Girlycard HAD given them something. And it was mostly for Lady Renee Hellsing, wife of Arthur Hellsing. Who was making use out of the linginue that Girlycard gave her the day before. In the next room, was Walter laying on his bed with pillows over his head blocking out the sound of loud sex in the next room.

"--OH ARTHUR! YOU ARE SUCH A BEAST--!"

SQUEAKY SQUEAKY SQUEAKY

"--I love this neglicee! You can take it off anyway you want to! Girlycard is a gift giving genius!---"

SQUEAKY SQUEAKY SQUEAKY

"--Oh yes! right there you sexy man!---"

SQUEAKY SQUEAKY SQUEAKY

"--LEAVE THE GARTERS ON YOU SEXY MOMMA!---"

SQUEAKY SQUEAKY SQUEAKY-CRASH!

His eye twitched

"-What was that!!?!??!-"

"-Oh I think I broke those lamps that Walter gave us-"

"Oh don't worry, we can just go down to the flea market and replace them, now come here with your big thick piece of juicey-"

"Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Walter screamed out loud.

He grabbed his blanket and pillow. Then left his bedroom and journeyed far into the lower dungeon of the estate. Deeper and deeper until he found Girlycard's chambers and went right on in. The dungeon was unnaturally warm that night, so she slept with her coffin lid open wearing a white satiny victorian nightgown. Walter went right up to the side and looked down at her and-

-proceeded to pelt the ever loving snot out of her with his pillow.

Nine months later.........

A little girl named Integra Fairbanks Wingates Hellsing was born

I hope you enjoyed it! Poor Young Walter.....is it any wonder why he betrayed Hellsing. I was in a Victoria Secret store at the mall today and the idea of Girlycard and a neglicee was too good not to pass up!